Relationships & Expectations

After taking a closer look at relationships around me, I have come to believe that time is not a yardstick for love. There are people who develop a sense of belongingness very early in the courtship while there are some others who remain emotionally distant even after prolonged togetherness. You can’t tell that two people are into each other by the number of years they have been together for. Many long-term relationships end up being the cause of emotional voids that can’t be filled without a real effort. More than half of the young population today is dealing with the emotional baggage from their past relationships, in the wake of which, they have abandoned happiness.

Did you ever give it a thought? Why these young souls who are supposed to be teeming with life and happiness are losing their crucial years repenting over their bad decisions? You are at the best place to answer this as you have been there too, if not today, definitely at some point in your past. As much as I have understood relationships and life, I feel stuck when it comes to finding the roadblocks to a happy fairy tale romance. But these millions of love tales around the world have something in common, that could be the possible reason for the recurring heartbreaks and disappointment.

“ I expected her to be the best part of my life.”

“No matter how much efforts I show, I get nothing in return.”

“I wish, I expected lesser from him.”

“ All I expect is his genuine care and attention.”

Expectations. Since the very beginning of life, we have been sheltering unreasonable expectations in our hearts. This everlasting process began at home when we made an extravagant demand to our parents, and they nurtured it out of love. So, the next time we found something out of our reach, we expected them to make it accessible to us. In no time, these expectations slipped into our daily lifestyle and crippled our inner strength.

But, am I projecting expectations in a bad light here? Absolutely Not. I am just putting my sincere effort into unmasking our inner devil that is the foremost obstruction in our fairytale romance. Yes, it is not at all wrong to expect. Expect, if your inner self allows you to. However, before untying the bundle of expectation before the world, ask yourself- Have you lived up to the expectations of your 5-year old self?

I clearly remember my expectations as a 5-year old kid, and when I correlate it to my present, I find a considerable variation. My dreams as a 5-year-old were bizarre. I wanted to own the moon one day or climb up to the highest peak and build a home over there. Though the aspirations I had at the tender age of 5, don’t count today, I haven’t covered even half of the journey I should have, being a 26-year-old. I feel that I still owe a lot to my inner child whose dreams were aspiring enough to give me a reason to keep going.

This is a plain story that I have kept repeating in my head for years, and I tell it over and over to myself and to every single youngster who expects their partner to give them a life, straight out of a fairytale. It is never too late to realise that no one in this world can make up for your unrealised dreams and expectations, and if anyone can initiate the change, it is only you.

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The fear of losing

Gear up your preparation or else you will end up being a loser”

I overheard my aunt saying this to my cousin sister ahead of her 12th board examination. For an Indian household where future is confined to a higher secondary mark sheet, this is nothing new. As much as we want to deny it, we have been an active member of this society where participating in the rat race is an ultimate solution for all the career issues. We are taught not to be anything less than a winner and this is how we miss out on the sole purpose of life.

I believe that most of us are born to bring something new to the plate rather than repeating the same menu until we start loathing our humdrum existence. When we are brought up in different households, with different values and environment, how can we just end up choosing the same thing for our lives?

With the society aimlessly chasing the “winner” tag, it has become the need of the hour to listen to our inner soul. So if you are just another youngster bearing the burden of societal expectations, take a pause and ask these questions to yourself.

– Are you choosing a career you always wanted to choose?

-Will you be able to do 100 percent justice with your chosen profession or be just another face in the crowd?

-Have you stopped living your “life” out of this fear of losing?

– Are you choosing societal approval over your happiness?

Ask these questions to yourself over and over until you get an honest answer from within. No matter what life brings to you, remember that being “second” in the race was never shameful. But losing yourself out of the “fear of losing” can be the most fateful occurrence of your life.

Saturdays On Social Media – A Runway Show

I have never been able to establish a rapport with the clumsy Sunday evenings when my mood stands somewhere in middle of Saturday fun and monday morning blues. So,most of my Sundays are spent either dreading the events of the upcoming week or navigating to my social media accounts reflexively.

It’s strange that I have been the most creative self on those social pages which always challenge me to bring something new to the plate or I might loose a chance to be a showstopper. And what if I fill in my virtual friends on all the minute details of my life circumstances exactly the way they are?? Will they laugh at my audacity to expose the monotony which I try to escape every single moment of my life or will the Instagram come up with a dislike button following the mediocrity of my life events?

Saturdays are meant to take the pace of your life down a few notches and bask in the warmth of your own company. Well, this is what it was supposed to be till the social media buzz turned louder. So, now when a weekend trek event pops up in the event reminder feed, it’s more about posing with the victory symbol on the highest peaks rather than rejuvenating my inner soul. Work hours have also got the plaudits to be more about the scrumptious meals and creative desk set ups than the dreadful work and deadlines.

With this horseplay game going really stronger, the only question that occupies a humongous space in my mind is ” whether my chances of being a showstopper remain clutched in the hands of those social media feeds or my actual deeds?” The irony is that we all knew the answer the very moment I posed this question and still our Facebook feeds will be awaiting a new runway show on the coming Saturday.

-Pr!y@nka

Intern

“Enthusiasm doesn’t die a natural death, it gets killed by the hands of ignorance”.

This thought isn’t something coming out of the blue. Friends, I often wonder about the utility of a scrapped paper in the bin as if it was always a scrapped piece or was turned into one. Someday while sitting on your rooftop sipping that last sip of coffee each one of you surely would have realised that lifethese days is all about being a part of the rat race. But the ultimate aim is nomore about chasing your dreams,its more about chasing the one who can make those dreams come true.

Have you ever been into an organisation? I am sure everyone amongst you might have been to one and what was that one thing that caught your attention? Those million machines themself working on machines, well maintained infrastructures, crowded canteens, security with those big moustaches, that one cabin reading department head ( which I am sure everyone of you want to own someday)or it is something beyond this?Well, for me it is this scrapped paper containing a thousand scribbled possiblities which if given the pen would have turned into the most beautiful piece of note.

Yes guys! whether you are a working individual or you are going to be one, in midst of those cubicles you come across a hidden unfolded personality, radiating an ambiguous blend of self doubt & hopes & we,the corporates call them “interns”.

Most of us might have got this designation at some point of our life. But my question is, ” was it just a designation or this word ” intern” brings back to your mind, that battle you fought between hopes & reality.” Do these designations work as a stamp for calliberating possiblities within you? If you are a working professional, recall the last time when you kept your bundle of assignments aside & put forward your helping hand to these guinee pigs of your organisation who just wait for the door of learnings & opportunities to open up for them. I know you must be having a hard time recalling it because most of the times either you must have pretended their voice to be unheard or you could have loaded them with loads of superfluous tasks summing up to no learnings. Ever given a thought why it is so? Why a person designated a trainee in your organisation stands a chance to put forth their ideas & skills but a newly joined intern is equivalent to a robot, blindly following the given instructions & with each instruction burying a pool of ideas into the cobweb of self doubt? On the wake of realisation,you will see skills and enthusiasm falling prey to flattery , ignorance & insecurities

Today, if you want to have sight of a hill top, you don’t need to be a good climber but you ought to please the one owning the hill. The system today yearn for more people who know how to repeatdly say ” yes” but the people who get crumpled are the ones who learned to say ” no” and come up with a better solution than the existing one. The very reason for these guys loosing on every ground is that no one ever realised what more could be there behind this “No”.

A “no” could be intended to a completely different set of ideas which were overlooked in the due course of doing all the things in a same way . It could be the voice of a individual who learned to chase his dreams but never bent down to the level of chasing the person who could make his dreams come true,or it can imply an emerging figure of possiblities who just needs someone to believe on its journey.

Since a “no” could be anything more than our understanding of the word,doesnt it stand an equal chance to a ” yes”.? I think,it surely does.
So next time if you see a intern in your department who says “no” to mediocority, waiting to serve some different ideas into the plate, don’t give them a scrapped piece of paper but try to provide them a fresh new sheet, they can paint their thoughts on.